Remembering Kevin

Two years ago, my nephew Kevin took his own life. He was only 22 years old, full of life and potential. He was athletic, good-looking, and funny. Kevin's dad (my brother) saved the shotgun shell that ended Kevin's life. He has it in a glass case with a card beside it that says, "Of all the pills Kevin took to take away his pain, only this took his pain away forever."

Kevin had a near death experience about 6 months before his suicide. He had been taking assorted street drugs and alcohol. He says he tried to medicate himself because his mind had been messed up ever since his parents' bitter divorce when he was young. He had a drug reaction that made him freak out so bad the police had to handcuff him and take him to the hospital. Once he was admitted to the hospital, he went into a coma for 5 days.

When Kevin awoke from his coma in the neurologic intensive care unit, he said that he had been to heaven and met some of his loved ones there. He was warmly greeted by his great-grandmother and his maternal grandfather. They had messages to give to his mother. He was approached by a woman he recognized from photos as his father's mother. Jesus was at her side. She smiled a bright smile and proclaimed that Jesus forgives all. She told him to tell his dad that she was proud of him.

Kevin never knew his father's mom because she died many years ago. Her comments about all being forgiven are particularly poignant to me and my brother. 42 years ago, our mother drove up to North Ogden Canyon and shot herself in the head. My brother and I were the last ones to see her alive. We were home playing in the house, and she told us she was going to the store.....she never came back. Mom suffered from clinical depression so I never considered what she did to be a sin so it didn't surprise me that she would be happy and welcome in the bosom of Jesus. Despite her problem with depression, Mom was a good mother who had many talents. People loved her because she was sweet and funny. Kevin was sweet and funny, too.