Girls Will Be Girls - Part II

Those of us campers who weren't desperately seeking males were desperately seeking a flush toilet. The campground had several of those foul smelling open pit "outhouses." We even tried every restroom to see if there were any that smelled less putrid than the others. They all reeked.

One of our adult chaperones, Eva, traveled in style. She had a large travel trailer where she was happy to let us older girls hang out, provided we didn't make it necessary to empty the holding tank....if you know what I mean. She couldn't spare a flush. Just like manna from heaven, the good Lord provided a way for us to take care of our needs. We were sitting around in the trailer, talking girl talk when a park ranger popped his head in the doorway. He said he bet we were talking about boys. We were, but we weren't going to admit it to him. He said if we listened to his morality lecture, he would show us where the only flush toilet in the campground was. We were all ears....and aching bladders. He explained that he was a junior high school teacher in California during the school year and a forest ranger in the summer. He told us cautionary tales about how California girls were "easy." We thought the guy was a total cornball, bordering on being a pervert, but we so wanted to hear that sweet sound of rushing water of a flush. True to his word, he did show us a tiny building in a remote part of the campground that housed a single flush toilet. We didn't do any mean pranks on the younger girls, but we sure didn't let them know where our favorite toilet was.

One highlight of camp week was the Friday night skits. My friends and I decided that we would do a parody of the popular gameshow, "The Newlywed Game." We really didn't do any kind of a script. We just decided what kind of personalities we would have and improv from there. My friend Mad and I can egg each other on with silliness and get quite outrageous. We decided to be a couple much like Ma and Pa Kettle. Mad was a brassy, bossy, loud and large woman like Ma and I was a wimpy, clueless, simpering little man like Pa. One of the questions was about the wife's favorite nickname for her husband. Mad blurted out that she called me "Ploop" and said it like she was calling a pig. We got rolling from there and got even raunchier than the real Newlywed Game. No one dared stop us....everyone was falling off their logs laughing, especially the chaperones. I have to say that was one of our finest performances.